I'm not a puppet, I'm a real mom!

Note: XL t-shirt pajamas at 3 in the afternoon.

Note: XL t-shirt pajamas at 3 in the afternoon.

Let’s just get real here for a second. I follow a lot of bloggers and a lot of mom’s in general. It seems like they’re awake, ready in the cutest outfit with the cutest “curls from yesterday” hair, and their kids are also dressed and sitting nicely in their carseats as they run errands or what-have-you. Maybe this is their real life, if so, give me the kool-aid they’re drinking, and maybe it isn’t. Maybe it’s just their social media life. Either way, good for them! But, I want to share just a little glimpse of what my raw motherhood looks like, specifically what it looked like for me today because… yikes.

This morning, B woke up to eat, burp, diaper change, and then went back to sleep. After a short time he was really restless and this mama was just NOT ready to wake up yet so, I brought him up into my bed to cuddle with me so we both could get that extra hour of shut-eye. I know that putting baby in your bed/co-sleeping or whatever is frowned upon but sometimes you do what you gotta do to get by, am I right?

When we finally rolled out of bed this morning I had a few things I needed to get done but B had other plans. He needed to be held constantly. So I did what any great mother would do and threw that kiddo in my Happy Baby Wrap and got to work. I did the dishes first (my mistake) and then started on my coffee routine and my breakfast for the day. About 20 minutes in I noticed that he was asleep and so I took him out of the wrap and put him in the bassinet. Side note: it does not matter how asleep a baby is, they have some sort of baby law where if mom was holding them, they WILL wake up if they are set down. So, he woke up and I hung out with him a little longer, fed him, and he fell back asleep for his morning nap. I went back to the kitchen to finish my breakfast and when I was almost done, like literally egg frying in the pan, I heard him cry. I went in to check on him and he needed a diaper change so, I picked him up… and that’s when it happened. I heard a weird liquidy slop/drop sound hit the ground and I thought, “Oh no, did Wrigley just throw up?” I looked down and there was literal sh!t on the ground! I kid you not. Now I’m thinking, “these damn diapers, we probably need to go up a size!” I set him on the changing side of the bassinet/pack ‘n’ play and run to the kitchen to grab paper towels so that the dogs don’t lick it up. Disgusting, I know. But, if you have dogs you’ll understand. Turning the stove off for my frying egg that will yet again be put off to another time. I run back in, clean-up the floor, and start to clean him up. Remember how I thought we needed to size up? Oh no, no diaper in the history of diapers could have held the amount of shit that was in it, hence the poop on the floor. Finally, I get him cleaned up and head back to the kitchen, finish my breakfast, and come into the living room only to set my breakfast and coffee on the coffee table to get cold while I fed my now hungry boy.

The day really didn’t get much better between attempting to loudly sing country songs to the grumpy babe while he lay watching me put away laundry, pausing laundry, and feeding for what felt like the 10th time today, he is now down for his first real, uninterrupted nap of the day and here I am, 3pm on a Monday. I JUST now changed out of my breast milk stained pajamas, brushed my teeth, and washed my face.

Such is the life. Now cue my title, “I’m not a puppet! I’m a real mom!” (You better have gotten the reference or you don’t got a friend in me)! Okay, I’m done now.